everything that i need to say and can say, i've said. but it seems what i said doesnt change anything. much as i hate to continue being unhappy, i've now got to pretend normalcy and be as close to happy as i can be. was it really my fault? did i somehow do something to deserve this? or is it just bad karma?

the lack of passion doesnt bode well. i want to be proactive rather than passively wait for my fate to arrive at an unknown time. i want to be the one and only choice all along, not just the one left after elimination.

does it not mean anything that i am unhappy?